Free Ticket to Heaven

This is Heaven. This 85-year-old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to her interest in health food and exercise.

When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi.

As they "ooohed and aaahed" the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. "It's free," Peter replied, "this is Heaven."

Next they went out back to see the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges everyday and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth.

The old man asked, "What are the green fees?" Peter's reply, "This is heaven, you play for free."

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out.

"How much to eat?" asked the old man. "Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!" Peter replied.

"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods?" the old man asked timidly. "That's the best part...you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven." The old man looked at his wife and said, "You and your bran muffins. I could have been here ten years ago!

Source: http://www.jokesnjokes.net/

How to Gain admission into Heaven

As the "sinners", all over the world, plan & strategize as to how to successfully enter heaven, here is a joke that shows that you simply need to "prove" your identity!
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When Einstein died and arrived at the gates of heaven, St. Peter would not let him in until he proved his identity.
Einstein demonstrated a few of his theories & equations, and was granted admission into paradise. When Picasso died, St. Peter asked, “How do I know you’re
Picasso?” Picasso re-drew a few of his masterpieces. St. Peter let him in. When George W. Bush died, he went to heaven and met the Saint at the entry - “How can
you prove to me you’re George W. Bush?”
Bush countered, “Heck, you don’t know me?” St. Peter replied, “Well, Albert Einstein proved his equations and Picasso drew his famous sketches. What can you do to
prove you’re George W. Bush?” Bush remained stoic, “Who are Albert Einstein and Picasso?” St. Peter smiled, “It must be you, George, hop in.”
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The billion dollar question is - How can you prove your identity?